I remember the first time that someone decided that they no longer wanted to be my friend. That very first friend heartbreak is the worst. The agony of the rejection, the realization that I had no control, the acceptance that eventually came. All of these feelings coursed through my five-year-old brain.
Eventually, after staring longingly at my former friend as she trotted off with her new set of friends and left me to sort out the tragedy that was the end of our friendship, I found a new friend and the memory of the heartbreak became nothing but a lesson stored in my mental Rolodex. When I learned that my first child would be a bouncing baby girl, I was elated. I began to cry, but soon those tears of joy turned to tears of angst as I ran through the montage of memories from my childhood. I could almost feel the pain of her first heartaches. I made the decision then and there that I would always "keep it real" with my daughter. I wanted all of my mistakes to be lessons for her in life, love, and happiness. I would let her know that she is beautiful, bright, intelligent, funny and lovable, but she will not always mesh with everyone. I will hold myself back the first time I witness some kid, who doesn't want to play with her on the playground. I will let her feel the sting and watch as she resolves herself to move on. I will resist the urge to intervene and run to her aide. I will not menacingly stare down the heartless child, in an attempt to scare them into playing with my angel. Because mommy will not always be there to shelter her from heartbreak in the world and I want her to cope and not throw bratty tantrums for not getting her way. Not that it’s bad to throw bratty tantrums, I still do from time to time, just not in public. I will wait for her to come to me and tell me that "such and such" doesn’t want to play with her. At that point I will say, “Not everyone will want to be your friend, Mila….and that’s okay...let’s find someone else to play with”.
I'm Felise, a working mom of two young children. My husband thinks that I'm slightly social media obsessed. I'm prone to agree. Take a look at some of my thoughts on parenthood, life and relationships. Read More
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